Time of our lives

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life...

This isn't a cheery note. This is my next installment of life. I know I wrote a quick little thing almost 2 weeks ago when I was stirring with the emotions of her death but time has passed now. Now while I still feel her loss, I am trying to be there emotionally for those who have lost someone close. This whole experience has really just shown me that so many of us take life for granted. I can't believe that while my friends are moving on with their lives in joy, this is also the time that death can surround us. I can't imagine having to be the shoulder to cry on for my friends as their parents pass. Sadly enough, I know if my father were to pass away, I am not sure how I would feel. I don't remember the last time I said "I love you" to him... not even as a kid. I mean, I'm sure I said it when I was young but remembering as far back as 11-12, I know that I didn't love him. people would think that i am in shock but in reality, i wouldn't know what to think. I know i'll be devastated if it were anyone else in my family and i would certainly seem dead to the world around me. i go to people when i need advice but when i am seriously hurt, i just need to close off. some people may not understand that but i wouldn't expect them to