Things haven’t been the same since you came into my life
It is no secret that I am an individual that enjoys sex. Variety is the spice of life. I truly believe that. While I am by no means an expert in the subject, I am always willing to try something new and always willing to talk about my experiences. Over time and after all of my partners, I can say something that most people can’t – I do not regret any of the sex I’ve had. Each encounter brought new insight into my life, whether it was a new sensation, powerful reach to orgasm or the sense of spontaneity and fulfillment.
Something that I’m not sure of is if I really want to let my friends in on the extent of the “crazy” sex life I lead. I have had multiple partners in a day, had sex with men and women, dabbled in S&M, etc etc etc. I have at least 5 people (ok, 3) on call that I can meet up with late night if I ever have the need to scratch an itch. I would never do this if I was in a relationship but then again, I have been broken up with a number of times because I was moving too fast or needed too much from the man in my life.
My latest conquest started innocently enough with me having a nice dinner out with girl friends which quickly moved to after dinner drinks, clubbing and drinking the night away. Needless to say, I met my man for the night while I was out and it was so amazing. Dark, handsome (taller than me not but not classified as tall) and ready to be mine. We started out kissing innocently enough but I have to say that I made the move to show him that the night would end with fucking.
I love the use of the word fucking because in my mind, there are 3 classifications of sex. Making love is something that you do with someone that you love; there is a connection that goes beyond the physical. Having sex is something that is done with someone you love or someone you don’t. It fulfills the needs of the moment; physical, emotional or both. Not quite so sweet and gentle or moving but just exactly what you need. Fucking on the other hand is pure physical fulfillment. It is sweating and grunting while bodies pound together. It is being so in the moment that sex is literally dripping all over your bodies and the scent fills the room. Each and every encounter calls for something different.
Back to my weekend, fucking is what I was looking for in my night. This guy was shy and coy at first, maybe because he thought I would need the wining and dining. But when I whispered in his ear as I groped (ahem, massaged?) him leaning between his legs in the corner of the dance floor, he knew exactly what I wanted. He fulfilled every need I had that night… multiple times throughout the night. But I realized something in the morning. I woke up in his bed the next morning in a different state. Who knows how long I really spent with him but it was long enough to get me in a car for a drive across 2 state lines. I DO NOT DRIVE TO FIND SEX, SEX FINDS ME, DRIVES TO ME. It was a fantastic night but I don’t plan on seeing him again, don’t even remember his name. Boy, it was a damn good time. Are my friends ready to know everything about me? I think I shall continue to shelter them for the time being.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Split Decision
Sometimes I think I know too much
’bout what goes on in the real world and such
Half of me is certain, the other isn’t sure
I have been thinking about my April resolution, which was to make small changes to go green. I have always been a science buff and it just seemed like a natural extension of that. The small changes that most greenies make were pretty simple. It took no time at all to add them into my routine. I drive a hybrid, use reusable shopping bags, recycle, use my very own nalgene bottle (check out http://www.filterforgood.com/ for a great cause), buy organic when I can, etc. Even trying to venture into organic clothing, already use organic yoga items, but that's a lil more difficult.
The source of my split decision is the fact that as the green side of me wants to be closer to nature, the science side of me really loves and thrives on the many advances that the world is witnessing right now. The problem is most of the scientific breakthroughs that I love to read about and hopefully experience firsthand are chemically based and potentially harmful in the end. Harmful does not have to mean direct destruction to the environment but could also mean harms from production process, animal testing, etc.
What is a girl to do? I have looked into companies in the area and have found one local company (but not small but any means, one of the leading in the industry actually) tries to offset any negatives but having their facilities sustainably designed. I suppose it makes me feel a lil better that companies are also taking the small steps necessary to make a bigger, better impact in the world.
Is the wool being pulled over my eyes though? I feel like this is something that I will struggle with for many moons to come. No to high fructose corn syrup but splenda as a low calorie option? Yes to locally grown, organic tomatoes and wild alaskan salmon that traveled thousands of miles? No to plastic bags while shopping but yes to disposable laboratory equipment?
It's a hard thing to wrap my head around because in our world of new technologies, science and medically related, new things come up so quickly that things become obsolete and this leads to more waste that is not as easily reused. Medical equipment evolves into things that we couldn't have imagined but medical tools must be discarded in order to keep things sanitary. Where does this cycle end and become something that I can really stand behind? I suppose I shall be a living contradiction until I can figure that out.
’bout what goes on in the real world and such
Half of me is certain, the other isn’t sure
I have been thinking about my April resolution, which was to make small changes to go green. I have always been a science buff and it just seemed like a natural extension of that. The small changes that most greenies make were pretty simple. It took no time at all to add them into my routine. I drive a hybrid, use reusable shopping bags, recycle, use my very own nalgene bottle (check out http://www.filterforgood.com/ for a great cause), buy organic when I can, etc. Even trying to venture into organic clothing, already use organic yoga items, but that's a lil more difficult.
The source of my split decision is the fact that as the green side of me wants to be closer to nature, the science side of me really loves and thrives on the many advances that the world is witnessing right now. The problem is most of the scientific breakthroughs that I love to read about and hopefully experience firsthand are chemically based and potentially harmful in the end. Harmful does not have to mean direct destruction to the environment but could also mean harms from production process, animal testing, etc.
What is a girl to do? I have looked into companies in the area and have found one local company (but not small but any means, one of the leading in the industry actually) tries to offset any negatives but having their facilities sustainably designed. I suppose it makes me feel a lil better that companies are also taking the small steps necessary to make a bigger, better impact in the world.
Is the wool being pulled over my eyes though? I feel like this is something that I will struggle with for many moons to come. No to high fructose corn syrup but splenda as a low calorie option? Yes to locally grown, organic tomatoes and wild alaskan salmon that traveled thousands of miles? No to plastic bags while shopping but yes to disposable laboratory equipment?
It's a hard thing to wrap my head around because in our world of new technologies, science and medically related, new things come up so quickly that things become obsolete and this leads to more waste that is not as easily reused. Medical equipment evolves into things that we couldn't have imagined but medical tools must be discarded in order to keep things sanitary. Where does this cycle end and become something that I can really stand behind? I suppose I shall be a living contradiction until I can figure that out.
Blog Action Day - October 15, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Better Luck Next Time
Sometimes we fall
Ain't nothing new to me
So Monday didn't happen. My intention was to wake up early and go but nope. Woke up late for work actually. So very me. Tuesday sounded like the next best thing. Day after day, I couldn't wake up and so it's the end of the week and I will attempt to make my changes over the weekend.
Ain't nothing new to me
So Monday didn't happen. My intention was to wake up early and go but nope. Woke up late for work actually. So very me. Tuesday sounded like the next best thing. Day after day, I couldn't wake up and so it's the end of the week and I will attempt to make my changes over the weekend.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
One Of These Things First
I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook
A real life lover, could have been a book...
I have thought of so many different things that I could have written about these past few weeks and for some reason, I have shied away. Well not anymore!!! I have recently come into the idea of trying to simplify life and make myself a better person. The question is where to begin. I thought of using the 40 days and 40 Nights approach to rid myself of the excess men in my life. Then I thought about the new career path as an approach. I think I have decided to start a gym/yoga routine. I think it's because no one is expected to gain motivation throughout the winter months. It would be great to start now so that when I actually have a routine in the works, it'll be winter. Come on, how many people lose weight during the holidays? I'd like to try. So the adventure begins... Monday :-)
A real life lover, could have been a book...
I have thought of so many different things that I could have written about these past few weeks and for some reason, I have shied away. Well not anymore!!! I have recently come into the idea of trying to simplify life and make myself a better person. The question is where to begin. I thought of using the 40 days and 40 Nights approach to rid myself of the excess men in my life. Then I thought about the new career path as an approach. I think I have decided to start a gym/yoga routine. I think it's because no one is expected to gain motivation throughout the winter months. It would be great to start now so that when I actually have a routine in the works, it'll be winter. Come on, how many people lose weight during the holidays? I'd like to try. So the adventure begins... Monday :-)
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever...
No, this is not some goofball take on C&Ts song. Since I am such a movie geek and secret pessimist in life, I never believed that bullshit of love at first sight or rekindling a love lost. But I suppose that life got to me again. Ever since Dottie's accident, it's helped me look at things differently. That's the only explanation for reconnecting with the ex (just to talk about how he made me feel towards the end and let go of the grudge) that I lovingly call FUCKER. It's the explanation for trying to rekindle that relationship that ended before it even started. I've been thinking about telling a friend that I liked him years back, just to get it off my chest. Imagine how all these little things could have changed my life. I am an honest and straightforward person but of course like many people do, I hid my feelings from a crush in order to avoid rejection. But why is rejection so bad? Of course it hurts your feelings but without a commitment, it shouldn't take a lifetime to get over. It's something that I should be able to brush off. I can believe in the movie magic of girl meets boy, girl loves boy, girl loses boy, girl moves on, girl meets someone else and is happy, years later, girl meets boy again and it's like things never changed even though they both moved on. By being the type of person to hide my true feelings because I'm afraid of not having the other person feeling the same way, I could be denying myself happiness and life is too short to sacrifice happiness. I have to let people in, in order to love
No, this is not some goofball take on C&Ts song. Since I am such a movie geek and secret pessimist in life, I never believed that bullshit of love at first sight or rekindling a love lost. But I suppose that life got to me again. Ever since Dottie's accident, it's helped me look at things differently. That's the only explanation for reconnecting with the ex (just to talk about how he made me feel towards the end and let go of the grudge) that I lovingly call FUCKER. It's the explanation for trying to rekindle that relationship that ended before it even started. I've been thinking about telling a friend that I liked him years back, just to get it off my chest. Imagine how all these little things could have changed my life. I am an honest and straightforward person but of course like many people do, I hid my feelings from a crush in order to avoid rejection. But why is rejection so bad? Of course it hurts your feelings but without a commitment, it shouldn't take a lifetime to get over. It's something that I should be able to brush off. I can believe in the movie magic of girl meets boy, girl loves boy, girl loses boy, girl moves on, girl meets someone else and is happy, years later, girl meets boy again and it's like things never changed even though they both moved on. By being the type of person to hide my true feelings because I'm afraid of not having the other person feeling the same way, I could be denying myself happiness and life is too short to sacrifice happiness. I have to let people in, in order to love
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Time of our lives
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life...
This isn't a cheery note. This is my next installment of life. I know I wrote a quick little thing almost 2 weeks ago when I was stirring with the emotions of her death but time has passed now. Now while I still feel her loss, I am trying to be there emotionally for those who have lost someone close. This whole experience has really just shown me that so many of us take life for granted. I can't believe that while my friends are moving on with their lives in joy, this is also the time that death can surround us. I can't imagine having to be the shoulder to cry on for my friends as their parents pass. Sadly enough, I know if my father were to pass away, I am not sure how I would feel. I don't remember the last time I said "I love you" to him... not even as a kid. I mean, I'm sure I said it when I was young but remembering as far back as 11-12, I know that I didn't love him. people would think that i am in shock but in reality, i wouldn't know what to think. I know i'll be devastated if it were anyone else in my family and i would certainly seem dead to the world around me. i go to people when i need advice but when i am seriously hurt, i just need to close off. some people may not understand that but i wouldn't expect them to
This isn't a cheery note. This is my next installment of life. I know I wrote a quick little thing almost 2 weeks ago when I was stirring with the emotions of her death but time has passed now. Now while I still feel her loss, I am trying to be there emotionally for those who have lost someone close. This whole experience has really just shown me that so many of us take life for granted. I can't believe that while my friends are moving on with their lives in joy, this is also the time that death can surround us. I can't imagine having to be the shoulder to cry on for my friends as their parents pass. Sadly enough, I know if my father were to pass away, I am not sure how I would feel. I don't remember the last time I said "I love you" to him... not even as a kid. I mean, I'm sure I said it when I was young but remembering as far back as 11-12, I know that I didn't love him. people would think that i am in shock but in reality, i wouldn't know what to think. I know i'll be devastated if it were anyone else in my family and i would certainly seem dead to the world around me. i go to people when i need advice but when i am seriously hurt, i just need to close off. some people may not understand that but i wouldn't expect them to
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Life really can change in the blink of an eye
I just really don't understand people. Violence just seems so unnecessary. There I was sitting eating dinner with a few old friends when one gets this god awful news. Domestic violence... but what exactly happened? Of course we ended things right then and there. She was off to be by her husband's side who must be completely hysterical. Why do these things happen? The last time we saw these two people was such a joyous occasion. Everyone was laughing and seemed genuinely happy. What makes a person, who days earlier was smiling and in great company, pick up a gun?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Day 1
I may never write on this blog again but I believe that I'll be able to express myself here like no where else. Some topics may be silly (actually most probably will), some may be touching, some may be cliche but all will be me.
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